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Coffee, Cake & Candlelight | The Marriage Course

Written by Nnamdi Bolu

Very simply, in my own experience, the key to a fulfilling marriage is continuous learning AND applying what you learnt!

Before getting married about 8 years ago, I thought I knew all about marriage and was very confident it was going to be a walk in the park. My solution to most situations is to buy the relevant book, read it and then apply it. I discovered after getting married that the reading part was easy, but the applying was the more difficult bit. Why? For me, two reasons. Firstly, a lack of understanding and perhaps appreciation of the personality differences between my wife and I. Secondly, the different seasons of life or circumstances that required different applications.


In 2011, about two years after we got married, we decided to enrol on a course called ‘The Marriage Course’, organised by our local Church. At the time, my wife and I were going through some challenges and decided to give the course a go. However, similar to most couples, we were a bit nervous about it. In the end, we thoroughly enjoyed the course and for me in particular, learnt a great deal and came out a more humble man. Since 2011, we have attended the course two more times, 2015 and 2017.


Below are the nine things I love about the Marriage Course.

  1. It has a biblical foundation but still relevant to non-Christians
  2. Both husband and wife are receiving same knowledge at the same time
  3. Opportunity to spend quality time together without distraction
  4. Opportunity to discuss issues (or at least break the ice) that are sometimes ignored or difficult to discuss
  5. The course benefits all couples – challenged marriages or good marriages
  6. All discussions are private
  7. Lovely atmosphere and food
  8. Excellent value for money
  9. Opportunity to invest in the most important relationship we have


My wife and I facilitated the 2017 course for our local church. We decided to do this because of our love for marriage and because of how the course blessed our marriage.  It was also a good opportunity for us to remind ourselves of the practical tools required for building a strong relationship. In particular, we learnt (again) the importance of understanding and focusing on our spouse’s needs (not just ours). Furthermore, this course was timely for us as we were both entering a completely new phase in our career and family life.


The Marriage Course was founded by Nicky and Sila Lee of Holy Trinity Church Brompton (commonly known as HTB). The course has been running for over 20 years in many cities globally. There is probably a course near you. For more information on the marriage course and find a course go to http://www.themarriagecourses.org/try/the-marriage-course


Written by Nnamdi Bolu